Art - The New Mall Santa

"The New Mall Santa"

A belated Merry Christmas to everyone! Mine has been so hectic and busy that it (typically!) took me longer than I wanted to finish up this brand new piece. In the end, I forewent any "background" so that it could only be a couple of days late, but I still like how it turned out.

The concept behind this never-before-seen piece, other than wanting to "do a completely new Christmas artwork", was the idea I had a year or so ago about a "new type of mall santa".

Yes, the old fat guy in the white beard is still there, but this year, there are two 'Santa's Grotto' setups, each with its own line of waiting boys and girls... although it seems that the "new" line has far more boys than girls in it. I wonder why that is?

Let's take a closer look...

At a glance, both 'grottos' look similar, starting with the appearance of fallen snow given by white felt ground covers laid on the mall's shiny hard floor. The grottos themselves are brightly decorated with red, green and gold columns and arches, with a painted backdrop of Santa's workshop filling the main wall, while fluffy fake snow hangs from every spare surface. A sign reading "North Pole" completes the festive locale.

Notably, though, unlike some other mall Christmas setups, the 'Santa' of either grotto cannot be seen by passers by; each waiting line snakes past the posts and decorations, and then stops at a rope before a archway leading into a partitioned-off area, no doubt where Santa (or it seems, two Santas) hold court. At each roped entrance stands a smiling, pretty, college-age girl in a cute green and white 'Santa's Helper' outfit; there to make sure that only a single visitor is admitted to see Santa at a time.

Hmm, nothing unusual here so far, I guess... apart from there being two seemingly-identical setups. Perhaps the mall staff were just anticipating record numbers this year?

Both lines begin on either side of a small table, upon which is piled two stacks of envelopes, red and green, some little slips of paper, and a canister of ballpoint pens. Before dropping a boy or girl off to join one of the two queues, every parent (or other relative/guardian) stops at the table to fill in a slip of paper, put it in an envelope, and give it to their charge before leaving them to go off and do their last-minute Christmas shopping.

Well, that's a little unusual. What are those envelopes, I wonder? Maybe looking at the waiting lines themselves will tell us more...

At the start of the first line is the sign: 'NICE', and another pretty 'Santa's Helper' girl stands beside it to welcome those dropping off boys and girls to join the queue. She's all smiles, as are the boys and girls waiting in this line; every one of them excited and cheerful as they eagerly edge forward every time the line advances.

Why are they so excited, beyond the fun of a quick visit with Santa? In their hands, they each clutch a little green envelope. Carefully filled out (with parental assistance when needed) and sealed inside is a slip of paper. At the top of the slip of paper are the words "Dear Santa, ________ (name) has been a good boy/girl this year. They would like a:", with several checkboxes following, each corresponding to a small gift; a doll, a toy car, an action figure, an art set, a soft toy or a ball. At the bottom is another line: "Yours sincerely, ________ (parent or guardian)".

But what about the other line?

Here too, a 'Santa's Helper' girl stands smiling at the sign signalling the start of the queue, though her smile seems decidedly less good-natured than her fellow helper welcoming folks to the other line. And the sign marking this line reads 'NAUGHTY'. The boys and girls in this line seem far less excited than those in the 'nice' line, too; most have looks of worry on their faces, and their body language is clearly that of nervous and anxious anticipation. When their line advances, they shuffle with a reluctant gait, often needing to be chivvied on by the 'Santa's Helper' girls watching over them. A few of them are even crying, some sniffling softly, some even weeping loudly. What could have them so afraid and upset about going to see Santa?

Perhaps their misery can be explained in part by the little red envelopes each one is holding? These envelopes, sealed and handed to them by their parents or guardians to take to Santa, each contain a slip of paper. On these are the words: "Dear Santa, ________ (name) has been a very naughty boy/girl this year. They need a good hard:" with several checkboxes following, labeled "handspanking/paddling/tawsing/caning", before again ending with "Yours sincerely, ________ (parent or guardian)". Goodness me! No wonder these boys and girls look so worried!

As each figure in the line reaches the entrance to 'Santa's House' at the end, they are ushered inside by the attendant 'Santa's Helper' girl there to meet Santa at last, taking their respective green or red little envelopes with them.

It is in here that we at last find the real difference (and reason) behind the different coloured envelopes, the two lines, and the different moods of the boys and girls in each.

Those who end the 'Nice' queue find themselves in the brightly lit and vibrantly decorated inner sanctum of Santa himself. Surrounded on all sides by partitions painted with scenes of a busy North Pole toy workshop staffed by smiling elves, Santa sits on a large gold chair, his traditional red-suited, white-bearded, jolly self. Each boy or girl is helped to sit on his knee by yet another 'Santa's Helper' girl, as he takes and opens their green envelope. As Santa reads the note inside, he wishes the boy or girl on his lap a Merry Christmas and praises them for being good, before reaching into the large basket beside him and retrieving the gift that has been ticked on the card. The helper girl snaps a photo of Santa and his visitor together, then then escorts to happy boy or girl to the curtained exit from the grotto, just in time as the next visitor is brought in.

Well, that seems pretty simple and par for the course, doesn't it? A visit with Santa, a small gift, a photo and then back to their parents or guardians. But what about the other line?

Those reaching the end of the 'Naughty' queue are ushered into an equally festive and warmly-lit partitioned room, entitled 'Mrs. Claus' Woodshed', but this area has very different paintings on the walls to 'Santa's House': crying boys and girls with bright red bare bottoms, being teased and admonished by the same cheerful cartoon elves depicted in the other grotto's mural. The focal point, though, is the sturdy wooden bench with a padded top upon which sits 'Mrs. Claus' herself, a buxom blonde lady in a female version of Santa's traditional outfit; a fake-fur-lined red dress, shiny black knee-boots with matching fur trim and a matching red hat. Unlike her male counterpart, Mrs. Claus' legs are left bare by her skirt for those visiting her to sit on when they are brought in to visit. But before they are even allowed to sit on her lap, an attending helper girl first 'helps' each one to remove their shoes and pants (or in the case of the occasional girl, pin up their skirt) and even their underwear!

Bare-bottomed, each nervous visitor is now made to sit on Mrs. Claus' bare-legged lap as she opens their little red envelopes, noting the boxes that have been ticked and scolds them for earning themselves a place on the 'naughty list' this year. The boy or girl (there really are far more boys than girls visiting this grotto, doesn't that say something interesting?) is then stood up while Mrs. Claus retrieves the appropriate implement (if any) from the basket beside her, before putting the "naughty one" into position either face down over her lap or bending over the wooden bench. Her attending 'Santa's Helper' not only assists in getting each 'visitor' into position, but stands by ready to restrain them in case of the occasional 'escape attempt' (which is rare, but does happen from time to time).

Even though the interiors of the grottos themselves are not visible to the rest of the mall, their thin wooden walls are not enough to mask the sounds of Mrs. Claus' thunderclap hand-smacks, stinging paddle whacks, lashing tawse cracks, or biting cane thwacks as she administers each short-but-sharp punitive 'gift' to every one of her visitors, nor can they muffle the sobs, howls and pleas for mercy that her punishments produce.

After their spanking is over, the crying boy or girl (without exception, Mrs. Claus ensures each visitor leaves red-faced and bawling) is sat back on Mrs. Claus' lap - their hot, sore, brightly glowing red bottoms pressed painfully against her cool bare thighs - and photographed by her helper, before being quickly redressed and shooed out to make room for the next 'naughty' visitor.

Back out in the mall, the boys and girls from the 'nice' line emerge from Santa's grotto with big smiles to meet their returning parent or guardian, a present clutched in one hand and an instant photo of their visit in the other.

Those emerging from Mrs. Claus' 'woodshed', however, do so with streaming tears, one hand rubbing frantically at their burning and swollen rumps and the other clutching an embarrassing photographic souvenir of their red-bottomed, freshly-spanked shame... to be put on the mantlepiece or hung on the wall at home, to remind them to behave in the coming new year... or else find themselves brought back to visit Mrs. Claus at the mall again next Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Have a safe and happy New Year!

P.S. Oh, but I nearly forgot... the 'naughty' line visitors DO get a gift to take home as well: a small packet of tissues for drying their eyes and cleaning their faces after their visit. See? Mrs. Claus is generous too!

P.P.S. The boy in the artwork's t-shirt is a real one, based on one a girl was wearing at a Christmas party I was at this year! ;)