Banjo's BBS: Dark Matter: Fantasy vs Reality (Halloween Postscript)

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Dark Matter: Fantasy vs Reality (Halloween Postscript)

I wanted to take this opportunity to follow-up and answer the person who expressed "concern" over my previous post. Given this is (or was!) the season for all things dark and disturbing, I felt this was the perfect time to get this stuff out of the way in the form of a "mini-article".

Everything on this blog is intended as fantasy only. Nothing here is intended to reflect real-life, or a support of any immoral or illegal behavior. Like a lot of folks' spanking fantasies, some of mine are "non-consensual" (I'd be willing to bet a lot of other folks' here are, too). This also sometimes involves aspects that fall under "sex", I'll freely admit, and not always in a loving, caring way. Please understand that this doesn't mean I want or agree with such things in reality.

I tend to shy away from a lot of hardcore BDSM material - especially stuff with an X/F bent - because I personally don't enjoy that... seeing a woman in pain or fear is not something I enjoy. But that doesn't mean I don't understand the fantasies of people who do enjoy imagining such things happening to them. I know a good few lovely and very independent ladies who fantasize about being physically overpowered and spanked - even humiliated - against their will by their husbands, boyfriends and even total strangers... something I can totally understand but would never condone in reality. A past girlfriend of mine once confessed to "kidnap fantasies", but that doesn't mean she wanted to be actually kidnapped!

In a more "vanilla" context. how many of us enjoy horror movies, but would we want that dark stuff to really happen to us or someone else? I've often likened spankos to those who love scary movies and roller-coasters and ghost trains... stuff designed to invoke emotional and physical responses - fear, loss of control, etc. - that any sane person should want to avoid at all costs!

In reality, any spanking or BDSM practiced should always be safe, sane and consensual. Real rape or abuse is never "okay" or "fun". However, our imaginations (as both subs and doms), are sometimes a bit "darker". I hope folks are able to understand - and maybe even relate to - that.

Please don't think I'm overreacting to one single comment; I just want to make this stuff clear before this blog goes any further. As I said, often my fantasies (and thus, my art and stories) will stray into the "non-consensual" side of spanking and sex, and I want to clear the air before anything else causes controversy or concern.

So, if fantasy depictions of things that should not happen in real life bother you, please "look away". Don't worry, I won't be posting child porn or extreme brutality or anything genuinely horrible like that. But if the idea of a female police officer abusing her authority to unjustly strip-search and thrash a prisoner, or the idea of a cruel "aunt" spanking a young man under her roof every night just because she can, or the idea of a female boss who sexually harasses her employees and spanks them when they complain... if these are the sort of fantasies or make-believe scenarios that offend, then this blog is probably not for you.

As an aside, I think this is an interesting topic for those of us involved in spanking, BDSM and related sexuality, and invite discussion if you'd like... but I do ask you keep things polite and considerate.

14 comments:

AnonymousNovember 08, 2011 2:56 pm
Very well put Banjo. Looking forward to more artwork, and stories. Keep up the good work.
Best wishes,
marrk
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ajrNovember 08, 2011 4:51 pm
A humble request from a frequent lurker:

Leave the post up and come on with the images and/or stories of sexually harassing female bosses (hot ones, if you will), and capricious aunts. The occupants of the nearby cells make jails a rather unappealing setting, maybe more of a private security room in a casino or shopping mall...

Seriously, thank you for providing us with all this great material. It's generous of you. Maybe if you make something a bit edgier than normal you can put the image after the link. Definitely don't take anything out.
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robertcNovember 08, 2011 5:08 pm
Yep, there is always someone "concerned", who claims that you violate some rules or principles and imply something you didn't say. The next one will probably claim that the fact one of the girls is black means you suggest some racial issues. Or that the nurse from the previous post proves you have no respect for people with chronic illness. Etc. It's best to ignore such posts IMHO.
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AnonymousNovember 09, 2011 12:25 am
The tastes are different and you can´t make right to all of the members here. It´s your blog and only you can decide, what you want to show or not. If some members don´t like your work, they can leave this blog. So don´t change your art. Most of us love it.

Joerg
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BOBNovember 09, 2011 2:52 am
Your blog is called Banjo's Bare Bottom Spankings.This would obviously imply it was about spanking.The commenter "Clarence" obviously knew then that he was visiting a spanking blog.Judgeing from his wish that the two women would one day get spanked, it seems that he was disapointed to find that your blog focuses on females spanking males.And not the reverse.

I actually like your drawings for the very reason that they arent hard core fetish drawings of women with whips.And that they are much more liely to have a domestic setting and feature ordinary women[and not just proffessional domms like some spanking sites]

So i personaly dont think you should "tone down" your artwork at all.

Please keep up the good work!
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AnonymousNovember 09, 2011 3:54 am
Robert c, and "Bob" , esp. "Bob" this is for you.
Hey, Bob, bud, I belong to TWO of Banjo's yahoo groups and have for at least five years.

I made a comment about ONE of Banjo's artworks which wasn't absolutely laudatory in every way, shape, and form because I wanted to know if Banjo shared my concerns or not. I never expected him to post a second post "defending" himself, or anything like that, but I make no apologies for noting that his story for that picture involved the non-consensual assault of an unarmed person.

There are people in this world who think men can't be raped by women, there are also people who think females never commit domestic assault. I brought the subject up because I wasn't sure where our artist stood on those issues or that he was even aware of them. He's satisfied me more than enough that he knows what he is doing.

No one called for any "toned down" artwork at all. That was all in your mind, Bob.

And for you Banjo, I will clarify that by "humanly scary" I mean something like murder, real rape, Jeffrey Dahmer type stuff, not two cute chicks spanking a young man. As for witches and all that, well, if they were "real" they could send your soul to hell, possess you, turn you into an object, all sorts of things. Plus I read lots of HP Lovecraft. Excuse me, but I find this picture far from scary. It's still kickass though. I think I said in an earlier post on this blog that you should consider doing some paid art from time to time. You are good, and even when you "miss" , in some way with your art, it's like going from an A plus to an A.

Clarence
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smuccatelliNovember 10, 2011 1:12 am
As I said before, it's all about fantasy anyway and even if the "play" involves some kind of forced sex in addition to the B and D, it's a STORY.
Keep it up, Banjo. Frankly, I'd like to see a little sex mixed in with the spanking anyway. They kind of go together, you know what I mean?
The good thing about fantasies is that you can be in complete control of them since they're not real...

smuccatelli
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breakmydreamsNovember 10, 2011 12:02 pm
Very well said Banjo and keep up the great work with your stories and artwork :)

Also I have a ton of non-concensial fatinsys that involve me... *giggles*
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ColinNovember 12, 2011 8:38 am
I've just posted my feedback on 'Preparing To Pounce' in the thread on that piece. I see it as a fun addition to the Banjo gallery - no more scary or offensive to me as a spanko than any other piece. For me, part of the magic of Banjo's art is that it excites my submissive fantasies of being overpowered and coerced by beautiful women - the sweet sting of a non-consensual spanking - but within a context which IS clearly just fantasy, 'high concept' and good-humoured. In fact, if you want it, there's usually an ambiguity INSIDE the art as to whether the participants are really as they seem - or simply play-acting the roles, with the spankee willingly submitting to the pretence that he's being spanked against his will. Now, that IS high concept!

In real life, there's nothing erotic about actual abuse; but there's no harm, either, in spankos exploring their darker fantasies in consensual role play or expressing it in art - especially in art as clever and good-humoured as Banjo's.
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BanjoNovember 12, 2011 11:50 pm
I've been thinking a lot about this whole incident this week.

First, I wanted to say a big thanks to Robertc, Bob, AJR, Joerg and others who've been so supportive here about this issue. Some of you know the problems I had on Yahoo, so I really appreciate the support, folks. Ditto for those who've written privately.

@Robertc Hmm, at least I guess I got away with my subtle reference with the "choice" nurse's name, then? ;)

@AJR I threw those up as random examples, but after your comment and further thought, I actually think they deserve a proper visit in story or art form! For some reason, I found your idea of a female casino security guard quite inspiring.

@Clarence I don't think you should expect the true horror of Shub-Niggurath on a sexy spanking blog, mate... I don't find any of the Great Old Ones particularly sexy! And while I don't mind if a particular picture isn't to someone's personal tastes, as we all have different ideas of what's sexy and what's "too far" (for example, your comment about the two girls being paddled instead is outside of my comfort zone), but it was the sense of accusation (at least as I, and presumably others such as Bob and Robertc, read it) about ignorance over rape and real assault in your original post that made me feel the need to make my position crystal clear. Oh, and real life scumbag monsters don't deserve to have their names remembered, much less words wasted posting on them, IMO.

To be honest, it was a good opportunity to take, though, as I've been wanting to express this for a while, given my mixed desire and hesitation to post things more "edgy" than perhaps what I used to at Yahoo. Hearing from many folks that I am not alone in both understanding and having occasional "darker" fantasies makes me feel more relaxed and open about posting art and stories and such on occasion that I might have not done so before this incident.

New rule at Banjo's BBS from today: no more self-censoring! Promise! You folks have convinced me, fair enough? :)
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BanjoNovember 13, 2011 2:44 am
@ajr I forgot to mention... you should know,t most of my 'aunts' are capricious and all of my female (sexually harassing or otherwise) bosses are hot! :) Also, an 'abusive' policewoman doesn't have to imply an undesirable jailhouse crowd... she can just as easily strip-search and mistreat a hapless male prisoner in the back of a police car on an isolated road at night, or in a country police station with nobody else around... ;) I enjoyed your comment, and hope you'll contribute more!
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EmilyNovember 14, 2011 6:24 pm
To chime in a trifle late, I'm as sensitive to issues of rape and rape culture as the next person, and while the image in particular wasn't my favorite, I didn't object to it.

I get upset when movies or TV shows treat rape as a joke or something to be expected, and yes, I am very offended by all the images of men being raped by women presented as comedy. That is no more funny than it would be if the victim were a woman, and I'm always a little personally offended by the times when the female rapist is presented as a leather-clad dominatrix. I am always VERY careful to get proper consent before I take advantage of my naughty boys. ;)

Thing is, I'm offended by that because it presents rape as something normal, something that's just part of what goes on, and thus implicitly acceptable. Our dear Banjo's art is sexual fantasy, it's SUPPOSED to be naughty and inappropriate. The unacceptability of rape is the POINT.

If I were to object to Banjo's two female assailants and their poor victim, I would have to stop enjoying all the fantasies where I or some other person is under the age of consent, and I am just not prepared to stop enjoying those.
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ColinNovember 15, 2011 11:37 am
I just wanted to add an observation to my earlier point that in Banjo's art there's often an ambiguity, if you want it, as to whether the characters are really what they seem: i.e. are they just play-acting at the roles which they appear to occupy, with the male willingly submitting to a pretence that he's being spanked against his will? My observation is that in many of the pieces the 'stepson' or 'nephew' is clearly a young adult - a fit, strong and muscular one, at that - looking well able, should he choose, to break free of whatever form of restraint the spanker may be using on him (such as otk leg-lock or grasped wrists) and to walk away at any moment. True, the spanking women themselves seem physically powerful, but the spankees often look as if they'd have enough bulk and strength to escape, if that was their inclination. The implication is that they're subordinating themselves by consent to the women's dominating willpower.
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ajrNovember 15, 2011 4:32 pm
I'm glad to see Emily's comment. When I first read this an earlier comment of hers from 'The Hairbrush Dance' came to mind:

"Either way, she may well be his mommy or auntie, but the point of this spanking is that he doesn't have the right to say no to sex.

Man, it's a good thing I've learned to separate my fantasies from my actual opinions about rape, or I would feel really awful about myself for typing that. :)"

Exactly. There's no requirement for our fantasies to align with our opinions. What would motivate us to fantasize if they did match up? Fantasizing starts with wishing, "if only such and such was the case..."

Spanking is not a politically correct kink, not even F/M. At least for me, a major part of the appeal is the spankee being overwhelmed and losing their composure and dignity (which by the way, you do a great job of depicting). Fortunately, that's not something any of us has to deal with in the normal course of events.

It's the violation of standard ways of acting (no physical punishment between adults, expectation of minimum level of courtesy, etc.) that make it hot. Sticking to expected notions of how we should treat each other pretty much defeats the whole point.

P.S. Emily and Katlyn are both fantastic writers and I wish they would comment much more often...
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