Art: Where's My Steak, Bitch?

"Where's My Steak, Bitch?"

Did you know that March 14th was (un)officially 'Steak and a Blowjob Day'?

Even though I'm thus characteristically late, I felt inspired reading about it across the spanking blogverse, and decided to dedicate this art piece to that day.

The amusing, blatant chauvinism of the concept meant that I just couldn't resist 'reversing' the traditional roles; apologies to anyone who may be offended by my portraying the wife/girlfriend character here as a denim-clad, beer-drinking, boybeater-wearing construction worker!

Still, it's not like she asks for much.

After a hard day at work, getting sweaty and grimy, all she wants to do is relax at home with a beer and a cigarette, and a nice steak dinner.

But her pampered, lazy young 'house-hubby' has been slacking off again, it seems. Too busy cleaning the house to have her dinner ready the moment she arrives? Pah! More likely wasting time on the computer, watching tv, or jerking off to his secret stash of porn magazines!

What's worse, tonight he dared present to her - her, the hard-working bread-winner of the household! - a CHICKEN SALAD?!

What was he thinking? Maybe she'd like to try something different?! NO!!! She expects dinner on the table when she gets home! On time! No excuses! And MEAT! Not salad, not some small portion gourmet crap like a fancy restaurant... she wants a big, juicy steak!

Since words don't seem to get through to her silly little house-hubby, though, it seems like a lesson with the carpet slipper is called for... right then and there there in the living room!

Rest assured, he's howling and pleading and promising to make her anything she wants by the time she's done with his red little ass!

Then, stripped naked and his bottom burning, he's sent scurrying to the kitchen (with a parting, hefty SLAP! across his glowing caboose) to fix her dinner... the right dinner, this time! No, don't bother getting dressed again! And he'd better not drip tears on her food, either!

His eyes are still still glistening with tears when he finally brings her the steak she demanded in the first place (now twenty minutes late).

The tray rattles slightly - beer bottles clinking - as he trembles on approach, naked but for a skimpy apron. He knows it would only take her a second to reach out, rip the flimsy garment from him and haul him bodily back over her knee, if she so decided. Her strength - from her physically laborious job - and his comparative weakness - from his idle housebound lifestyle - means he could offer only token resistance at best.

Well, at least the beers are cold, she tells him, accepting the meal with a sneer. He got something right, so maybe he's not totally useless after all?

Still, that steak had better be cooked correctly, and properly seasoned too... or else she'll be taking her thick leather belt to his backside in the bedroom after dinner!

She cuts off a chunk and starts chewing, as he stands there nervously shifting from foot to foot, tears brimming once again as he awaits her verdict of his culinary efforts...

(okay, all decidedly non-PC, I know... but I really felt inspired!)

Well, that's the 'steak' part taken care of, anyway. Now... who wants 'Part 2'. where she shows him what ELSE he needs to do for her when she's had a hard day at work? "Instead of all those excuses and apologies, you might as well put that mouth to good use..."

Oh, and yes... that's my fictional 'Thrash Beer' making a return appearance here!